A Lifetime of Mistakes
by Lily Potter-Malfoy
Summary: The first time Severus Snape was kissed... RemusSeverus


**Lily**: This is another Snape offshoot of my TLAV writer's block 000 ah! Jeez!So enjoy!

The first time Severus Snape had ever been kissed he was in his third year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. He had been lured into it by an inexperienced Lucius Malfoy who had finally gotten a girlfriend and wanted to be experienced when he kissed her. Severus went along with Lucius's plan and even allowed him to insert his tongue. All the while he was being kissed he imagined he was in the potions classroom brewing a particularly difficult poison antidote.

The second time Severus Snape had ever been kissed was with Lucius Malfoy again after he failed miserably with his new girlfriend and decided that he must practice more. It was towards the end of third year and he was as apathetic towards it as he had been the first time. On this occasion he imagined himself slowly dissecting a frog to extract the essential ingredients from its body so he could make a simple household cleaning potion for his mother. Lucius had succeeded in not making a complete mess out of his kiss this time and, had Severus not been dreaming of a particularly difficult section of the dissection, he might have enjoyed it.

The first time Severus Snape had sex was with Lucius Malfoy in fifth year. Lucius had decided to discard his virginity and insisted that he practice with Severus first. It had been a relatively horrifying event which Severus still disliked remembering. Lucius, being the purebred chauvinist that he was, wanted to be prepared and knowledgeable about the whole thing; however he was also an impatient fool and ended up rushing into the act head first. He had not given Severus the proper preparation, he had probably removed a layer of skin from his own member, and had blamed Severus for the whole thing. The whole thing ended very badly and Severus hadn't been very keen on having sex again.

Now, in his mid thirties, Severus Snape had been kissed twice and had had sex once and was faced with a very big problem. Living at 12 Grimmauld Place in hiding from Lord Voldemort had seemed peaceful; the only other person living there was one Remus Lupin, and what could Lupin do to him? But there was a problem with all of it, and that was the all consuming lust that seemed to swamp Severus whenever said werewolf was around.

He spent many hours thinking it through, of course. Severus was not a hasty man and he would never rush into anything sexual after his disastrous encounters with Lucius Malfoy. He made up all sorts of plans on how he could eventually have the werewolf and all of them seemed ridiculous. He never was much of a strategist. He spent hours wondering if kissing Remus would be as boring or disgusting as being kissed by Lucius and somehow he thought that it wouldn't be. He tortured himself with these thoughts and it was two months before anything finally got done.

It had happened unexpectedly as Severus sat sipping his morning tea. Remus had entered the room and stared long and hard at him, so long in fact that Severus began to feel uncomfortable. The werewolf had finally marched up to him, forcefully taken his tea and kissed him on the mouth.

The third time Severus Snape had ever been kissed was with a man who he had hated since boyhood. Hot tea was leaking onto his robe sleeve and he was twisted uncomfortably in a chair. His mind was unable to register anything but the person he was kissing. He couldn't even remember the simplest of potions.

He couldn't have been happier, but Remus went on to say,

"You've been staring at me for months; you and I both know what you want. So take me and stop torturing yourself!"

Severus Snape was a man who was incomplete without his morning tea. But that had been spilled onto the table and had been dripping slowly onto the floor as Remus spoke. Snape had glanced at it and smirked,

"Fine then" he had said.

The second time Severus Snape had sex was with Remus Lupin, a man he had hated since boyhood. He had fantasized for months about finally claiming the werewolf and it was finally the time. He had taken Remus's arm and led him out of the kitchen. His tea had dripped slowly onto the floor and when he looked at it, somehow he didn't mind.

Owari

**Lily**: that was bland I think. But I liked writing it… (Shrug) Sometimes I like doing things in this style, plainly speaking like. It makes me happy to lay off on the elusively worded sentences I use a lot. I like this kind of thing once in a while.

Now I can go back and write TLAV peacefully. This Snape thing has been eating at me for sooo long!


End file.
